Rephonic
Artwork for Love and Abuse
Emotional Abuse
Relationships
Toxic Relationships
Manipulation
Healing
Communication
Mental Health
Therapy
Love and Abuse
Boundaries
Trauma Bond
The MEAN Workbook
Relationship Dynamics
Toxic Communication
Self-Worth
Narcissism
Love-Bombing
Reactive Abuse
Breadcrumbing
Narcissistic Abuse

Helping you identify toxic communication, emotional abuse, manipulation, and other forms of difficult behavior in relationships. Love and Abuse offers the perspective of both the victim and the perpetrator. Full of tips and advice for your friendships, family, love life, and marriage. You'll learn about covert abusive communication that takes away your power. And you'll discover how to pinpoint th... more

PublishesWeeklyEpisodes193Founded8 years ago
Number of ListenersCategories
Mental HealthHealth & FitnessRelationshipsSociety & Culture

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Artwork for Love and Abuse

Latest Episodes

Should you come right out and say, "Hey, you're abusing me, and you need to stop"? Hmm, that might work for a very small percentage of people. But what if it's been going on for years? What if it has become normal in the relationship? Is there a way ... more

This is a follow-up episode for episode 190 - When anger is used to keep you compliant. Take time to reflect on 10 self-assessment questions based on the key themes from that episode. Pause between each question and be honest with yourself as you con... more

Anger in an emotionally abusive relationship raises the emotional and physical stakes. The risks are higher, and often, so is the submission and compliance.

Is one lie too many? Is honesty important in your relationship? Is it so important that if they lied once, you could forgive. If they lied twice, perhaps you could get past it. But what if they simply don't stop lying? What's after that?

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People also subscribe to these shows.

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Host

Paul Coliani
Host of Love and Abuse; guide through episodes focused on recognizing and healing from emotionally abusive dynamics.

Reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars from 1.4k ratings
  • Simple and Profound

    Paul has a very calm and kind voice (yes sometimes I listen to him in the middle of the night to fall asleep!).He DOES have a practical and wise way of putting things to make things simple and understandable.

    Apple Podcasts
    5
    Bina56
    United States14 days ago
  • I'm currently living inside a trauma bond, so I came to this episode genuinely hoping to feel understood. What I got instead was a description that basically boils down to — you stay because someone makes you feel pretty and you don't think you'll find that anywhere else. That's not just oversimplified, it misses the point entirely and left me feeling more unseen than before I pressed play.

    Podchaser
    1
    Catherine
    4 months ago
  • What a resource!

    I’ve had so many moments of clarity while listening to this and the Jessica Knight podcast.

    Apple Podcasts
    5
    Oh, I will.
    Australia8 months ago
  • Unstructured

    I don’t know if it is structured or not, I’m assuming it would be. Based on listening to it, however, it sounds like one long run-on sentence/train of thought. Like he’s just sitting down just talking and seeing what comes out. Granted, some of what comes out is helpful. But the lack of structure or feeling of structure takes away from the helpful nuggets, in my opinion. And that’s not enough for me to stay engaged in this type of podcast. I’m looking for real help, evidence-based insight, and... more

    Apple Podcasts
    3
    Ermomgtv
    United Statesa year ago
  • Better than therapy

    Thank you so very much!

    Apple Podcasts
    5
    SahhTori
    United Statesa year ago

Listeners Say

Key themes from listener reviews, highlighting what works and what could be improved about the show.

The show is valued for its dual perspective, addressing both victim and abuser viewpoints.
Listeners praise the host for clear, actionable guidance that helps them recognize abuse patterns.
Many feel validated and empowered to seek safety and healing, though some critique pacing or structure in certain episodes.
Community-driven support and practical tools are repeatedly highlighted as standout benefits.

Chart Rankings

How this podcast ranks in the Apple Podcasts, Spotify and YouTube charts.

Talking Points

Recent interactions between the hosts and their guests.

You learned you're being emotionally abused... now what?
Q: Should I be vulnerable and tell him how I actually feel? Do I give it to him straight and tell him that he's emotionally abusive?
He recommends sharing specific examples and feelings rather than calling the person abusive. He advises choosing a calmer moment when needed, staying focused if the conversation is redirected, and considering safety and the other person's response.
You learned you're being emotionally abused... now what?
Q: What is the next step after you find out that you have been emotionally abused for years?
Colliani advises raising one specific behavior and explaining how it affects you rather than using a broad label. If it feels safe, bring it up with inner strength, skepticism, and some hope, then observe whether the person listens, takes responsibility, and changes.
When they lie and lie and lie
Q: Could he be right about my reaction because of my history?
Colliani acknowledges that past relationships can affect confidence, but says her husband may be using that history to deflect responsibility. He says the repeated dishonesty should be considered on its own.
When they lie and lie and lie
Q: Am I overreacting?
Colliani says she is not overreacting and may instead be underreacting after repeatedly forgiving her husband's lies. He encourages her to take her feelings and her growing sense that the behavior is unacceptable seriously.
When anger is used to keep you compliant
Q: I'm just curious if you've ever discussed anger issues within the emotionally abusive and manipulative person.
Colaianni explains that anger may be a poor coping response, but it can also be used to intimidate others into compliance. Repeated outbursts and thrown objects can make a relationship dangerous, so he advises considering the broader pattern, seeking outside support and contacting a domestic violence hotline when children may be at risk.

Audience Metrics

Listeners, social reach, demographics and more for this podcast.

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Frequently Asked Questions About Love and Abuse

What is Love and Abuse about and what kind of topics does it cover?

A practical, survivor-focused show that dissects emotional abuse, manipulation, and coercive communication in relationships. Episodes blend real listener stories with actionable guidance on recognizing patterns, setting boundaries, and safely navigating leaving or staying, all while promoting healing resources and self-empowerment. The host provides blunt, compassionate coaching from both victim and perpetrator perspectives, and frequently references tools and programs designed to help people regain power and dignity in their relationships. Notably, the show emphasizes safety, data-driven decisions, and the long arc of healing, making it a potentially essential listen for anyone seeking clarity, validation, and concrete steps to improve or ... more

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Which podcasts are similar to Love and Abuse?

These podcasts share a similar audience with Love and Abuse:

1. You Are Not Crazy
2. The Overwhelmed Brain
3. Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse
4. The Covert Narcissism Podcast
5. Waking Up to Narcissism

How many episodes of Love and Abuse are there?

Love and Abuse launched 8 years ago and published 193 episodes to date. You can find more information about this podcast including rankings, audience demographics and engagement in our podcast database.

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