Rephonic
Artwork for Love and Abuse
Emotional Abuse
Relationships
Toxic Relationships
Manipulation
Healing
Communication
Mental Health
Therapy
Boundaries
Trauma Bond
Relationship Dynamics
Toxic Communication
Self-Worth
Narcissism
The MEAN Workbook
Love-Bombing
Love and Abuse
Reactive Abuse
Breadcrumbing
Narcissistic Abuse

Helping you identify toxic communication, emotional abuse, manipulation, and other forms of difficult behavior in relationships. Love and Abuse offers the perspective of both the victim and the perpetrator. Full of tips and advice for your friendships, family, love life, and marriage. You'll learn about covert abusive communication that takes away your power. And you'll discover how to pinpoint th... more

PublishesWeeklyEpisodes184Founded8 years ago
Number of ListenersCategories
Mental HealthHealth & FitnessRelationshipsSociety & Culture

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Artwork for Love and Abuse

Latest Episodes

It can feel amazing when someone focuses entirely on you, supporting you, helping you achieve whatever makes you happy... until it turns into a nightmare.

Isolation is one of the more destructive forms of emotional abuse, yet many people don't realize it's happening. They simply notice they no longer feel happy or fulfilled. Understanding how isolation works gives you the foundation to make decisions f... more

Are you the problem if nothing you do is ever right or good enough? Could they possibly be right about everything they're saying? If you believe this, please listen to this episode. It might just save you a lot of doubt and confusion.

When someone wants to control who you see by giving you an ultimatum between them and "me", you might have a hard choice to make. Or, maybe it's an easy choice, but it might be hard to get there from here.

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Similar Podcasts

People also subscribe to these shows.

You Are Not Crazy
You Are Not CrazyJessica Knight
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The Overwhelmed BrainPaul Colaianni: Relationship and Emotional Abuse Expert
Waking Up to Narcissism
Waking Up to NarcissismTony Overbay LMFT
The Covert Narcissism Podcast
The Covert Narcissism PodcastRenee Swanson, Bleav

Host

Paul Coliani
Host of Love and Abuse; guide through episodes focused on recognizing and healing from emotionally abusive dynamics.

Reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars from 1.4k ratings
  • I'm currently living inside a trauma bond, so I came to this episode genuinely hoping to feel understood. What I got instead was a description that basically boils down to — you stay because someone makes you feel pretty and you don't think you'll find that anywhere else. That's not just oversimplified, it misses the point entirely and left me feeling more unseen than before I pressed play.

    Podchaser
    1
    Catherine
    2 months ago
  • What a resource!

    I’ve had so many moments of clarity while listening to this and the Jessica Knight podcast.

    Apple Podcasts
    5
    Oh, I will.
    Australia6 months ago
  • Unstructured

    I don’t know if it is structured or not, I’m assuming it would be. Based on listening to it, however, it sounds like one long run-on sentence/train of thought. Like he’s just sitting down just talking and seeing what comes out. Granted, some of what comes out is helpful. But the lack of structure or feeling of structure takes away from the helpful nuggets, in my opinion. And that’s not enough for me to stay engaged in this type of podcast. I’m looking for real help, evidence-based insight, and... more

    Apple Podcasts
    3
    Ermomgtv
    United States9 months ago
  • Better than therapy

    Thank you so very much!

    Apple Podcasts
    5
    SahhTori
    United Statesa year ago
  • Thank You

    For being married for 20 years and my 20th anniversary, we spent being abused by my perpetrator. I was at my wits end. I prayed for God to give me a sign after being up for three days emotionally wrecked, and destroyed, not want to give up but knowing that my health has been destroyed knew there was something that had to be done, it’s time.

    You have my life brighter again and gave me some much needed hope! Paul two the words right out of my mouth, but also made me understand this whole scenario... more

    Apple Podcasts
    5
    ❣️keeping classy ❣️
    United Statesa year ago

Listeners Say

Key themes from listener reviews, highlighting what works and what could be improved about the show.

The show is valued for its dual perspective, addressing both victim and abuser viewpoints.
Listeners praise the host for clear, actionable guidance that helps them recognize abuse patterns.
Many feel validated and empowered to seek safety and healing, though some critique pacing or structure in certain episodes.
Community-driven support and practical tools are repeatedly highlighted as standout benefits.

Chart Rankings

How this podcast ranks in the Apple Podcasts, Spotify and YouTube charts.

Talking Points

Recent interactions between the hosts and their guests.

They call me names, put me down, tell me how pathetic I am - I guess I'm the problem.mp3
Q: Am I the problem in this relationship?
The host explains that often the victim's attempts to improve or seek therapy do not cause abuse; the abusive person is the one who refuses to reflect or change, and therefore the problem lies with the abuser, not the victim.
Being called a bad parent if you want to leave the abusive relationship
Q: How do I leave? How do I take the verbal abuse of her telling me that I'm a crappy father for wanting to leave her and abandon with our new kid?
The host suggests first addressing the abuse directly and setting clear boundaries; if the partner remains abusive or volatile, consider stepping away for safety and to protect the child's well-being. He emphasizes prioritizing the child, exploring conversations if it's safe, and recognizing when the relationship is emotionally or physically dangerous enough to justify leaving.
The feeling that you lost a big chunk of your life to the abusive person
Q: Why do people tolerate abuse for so long?
People tolerate abuse due to a mix of fear, hope for change, diminished self-worth, and the perceived high cost of leaving; cycles of love and abuse (trauma bonds) create emotional dependence that can be hard to break.
Do mutually abusive relationships have a chance?
Q: Is it possible for a relationship to be mutually emotionally abusive?
Yes, it can be, especially when both people have unhealthy coping mechanisms and emotional triggers. The path forward often involves individual healing, recognizing one's own role, and attempting to heal before trying to repair the relationship.
I feel like a bad person for being abusive back
Q: Have you ever heard of this happening before?
Yes, this pattern occurs frequently: victims often experience a backlash of anger and a shift in dynamics as the abused starts healing, while the abuser also changes, which can leave the original relationship transformed or dissolved.

Audience Metrics

Listeners, social reach, demographics and more for this podcast.

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Frequently Asked Questions About Love and Abuse

What is Love and Abuse about and what kind of topics does it cover?

A practical, survivor-focused show that dissects emotional abuse, manipulation, and coercive communication in relationships. Episodes blend real listener stories with actionable guidance on recognizing patterns, setting boundaries, and safely navigating leaving or staying, all while promoting healing resources and self-empowerment. The host provides blunt, compassionate coaching from both victim and perpetrator perspectives, and frequently references tools and programs designed to help people regain power and dignity in their relationships. Notably, the show emphasizes safety, data-driven decisions, and the long arc of healing, making it a potentially essential listen for anyone seeking clarity, validation, and concrete steps to improve or ... more

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Which podcasts are similar to Love and Abuse?

These podcasts share a similar audience with Love and Abuse:

1. You Are Not Crazy
2. The Overwhelmed Brain
3. Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse
4. Waking Up to Narcissism
5. The Covert Narcissism Podcast

How many episodes of Love and Abuse are there?

Love and Abuse launched 8 years ago and published 184 episodes to date. You can find more information about this podcast including rankings, audience demographics and engagement in our podcast database.

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