Rephonic
Artwork for Love and Abuse
Emotional Abuse
Relationships
Toxic Relationships
Manipulation
Healing
Mental Health
Communication
Therapy
Toxic Communication
Relationship Dynamics
Boundaries
Narcissism
Love-Bombing
Self-Worth
Reactive Abuse
Breadcrumbing
Narcissistic Abuse
Empathy
The MEAN Workbook
Trauma

Helping you identify toxic communication, emotional abuse, manipulation, and other forms of difficult behavior in relationships. Love and Abuse offers the perspective of both the victim and the perpetrator. Full of tips and advice for your friendships, family, love life, and marriage. You'll learn about covert abusive communication that takes away your power. And you'll discover how to pinpoint th... more

PublishesWeeklyEpisodes176Founded7 years ago
Number of ListenersCategories
RelationshipsSociety & CultureHealth & FitnessMental Health

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Artwork for Love and Abuse

Latest Episodes

A trauma bond is like being addicted to both the highs and lows, just waiting for your next fix. It's not impossible to break a trauma bond, but it can be hard as hell.

Can the victim of emotional abuse accept the former abuser as a friend after a lot of time has passed? I received this question from someone who used to be emotionally abusive, feels awful about it, but has been out of that relationship for years. Th... more

You're watching your child mirror a narcissistic parent and it feels like you're losing ground. Arguing with the lies they're being told feels pointless, but asking the right questions might just be what helps you keep your connection to your childre... more

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Host

Paul Colaianni
Host of Love and Abuse

Reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars from 1.4k ratings
  • What a resource!

    I’ve had so many moments of clarity while listening to this and the Jessica Knight podcast.

    Apple Podcasts
    5
    Oh, I will.
    Australia3 months ago
  • Unstructured

    I don’t know if it is structured or not, I’m assuming it would be. Based on listening to it, however, it sounds like one long run-on sentence/train of thought. Like he’s just sitting down just talking and seeing what comes out. Granted, some of what comes out is helpful. But the lack of structure or feeling of structure takes away from the helpful nuggets, in my opinion. And that’s not enough for me to stay engaged in this type of podcast. I’m looking for real help, evidence-based insight, and... more

    Apple Podcasts
    3
    Ermomgtv
    United States6 months ago
  • Better than therapy

    Thank you so very much!

    Apple Podcasts
    5
    SahhTori
    United States8 months ago
  • Thank You

    For being married for 20 years and my 20th anniversary, we spent being abused by my perpetrator. I was at my wits end. I prayed for God to give me a sign after being up for three days emotionally wrecked, and destroyed, not want to give up but knowing that my health has been destroyed knew there was something that had to be done, it’s time.

    You have my life brighter again and gave me some much needed hope! Paul two the words right out of my mouth, but also made me understand this whole scenario... more

    Apple Podcasts
    5
    ❣️keeping classy ❣️
    United States10 months ago
  • Great show to stop the abuser

    Boundaries get confused with care and crossing boundaries - cruel behavior, manipulation followed Random acts kindness … it makes you feel crazy

    Thankful to Paul to map it out

    I don’t see new episodes uploaded , is this project over Paul ?

    Apple Podcasts
    5
    patricia micaela bessa
    United States10 months ago

Listeners Say

Key themes from listener reviews, highlighting what works and what could be improved about the show.

Listeners praise the host's clarity and practical tools for boundaries and safety.
Audiences appreciate the dual perspective offered—victim and abuser viewpoints.
Many find the content transformative for leaving toxic relationships and healing.

Chart Rankings

How this podcast ranks in the Apple Podcasts, Spotify and YouTube charts.

Talking Points

Recent interactions between the hosts and their guests.

Do mutually abusive relationships have a chance?
Q: Is it possible for a relationship to be mutually emotionally abusive?
Yes, it can be, especially when both people have unhealthy coping mechanisms and emotional triggers. The path forward often involves individual healing, recognizing one's own role, and attempting to heal before trying to repair the relationship.
I feel like a bad person for being abusive back
Q: Have you ever heard of this happening before?
Yes, this pattern occurs frequently: victims often experience a backlash of anger and a shift in dynamics as the abused starts healing, while the abuser also changes, which can leave the original relationship transformed or dissolved.
The healed emotional abuser is more than just a behavioral change
Q: When you were married and you discovered that you were hurting your wife, then after you started overcoming your toxic behaviors and hurtful patterns, how long before she believed you truly changed?
The host explains that change happened gradually; during separation she noticed the changes when they reunited briefly, and she may have believed them to some extent, but certainty varied. The key takeaway is that genuine change is observed through consistent behavior over time and the other person's eventual perception of the new person, rather than promises.
Do we talk about divorce during the argument or the calm period
Q: Should I have this conversation about getting divorced during a calm period or during a rough period?
It's recommended to have the conversation during a calm period for better articulation and to avoid being blamed for emotional reactions during conflict.
Ive stopped being abusive, let's have sex
Q: How long do I have to wait because I'm sexually frustrated?
The focus needs to be on supporting the healing of the person who was abused, rather than pushing for intimacy.

Audience Metrics

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Frequently Asked Questions About Love and Abuse

What is Love and Abuse about and what kind of topics does it cover?

A relationship-focused show that helps listeners identify toxic communication, emotional abuse, and manipulation, offering perspectives from both the abused and the abuser. Episodes blend personal stories, practical frameworks, and tools to set boundaries, communicate clearly, and protect children in high-conflict households. A standout feature is tying real-life experiences to actionable steps, with resources and guided exercises linked to a healing workbook. The host emphasizes empathy, accountability, and practical healing over judgment, making it useful for survivors, partners seeking healthier dynamics, and professionals supporting them. Potential sponsors might note the strong emphasis on education, safety, and long-term behavior chan... more

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Which podcasts are similar to Love and Abuse?

These podcasts share a similar audience with Love and Abuse:

1. You Are Not Crazy
2. The Overwhelmed Brain
3. Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse
4. The Covert Narcissism Podcast
5. Marriage Rehab: Exposing Narcissistic & Emotional Abuse

How many episodes of Love and Abuse are there?

Love and Abuse launched 7 years ago and published 176 episodes to date. You can find more information about this podcast including rankings, audience demographics and engagement in our podcast database.

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