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Artwork for The United States of Air: a Satire

The United States of Air: a Satire

J.M. Porup on Podiobooks.com

The National Sewer Agency is spying on people's toilets, looking for food terrorists... Food Enforcement Agent Jason Frolick believes in America. He believes in eating air. He struggles to get the food monkey off his back. As part of the Global War on Fat, his job is to put food terrorists in Fat Camp. When a pizza dealer gets whacked in the park across the street from the Thin House, the Prophet ... more

PublishesDailyEpisodes32Founded13 years ago
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Artwork for The United States of Air: a Satire

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Chapter 28 -- It is hard, eating air. Sometimes you feel so empty inside. My heart goes out to you. All of you. But do not fear. We, the United States of Air, are here to help you. To free you from this oppression. That is why, if you fail to comply ... more

Chapter 27 98/100 -- LaOmelette Park. Foood! Foood! You're going to pay, alright. Kill me! Now's your chance! Real live scientists? It's their fault! The ferrners fault! I can get you off the hook. The holy of holies! Do you like ranch dressing? How ... more

Chapter 27 -- My trial lasted fifteen minutes. A bus ride. Welcome to the final stage of human evolution. Firewood? She spat and turned her back on me. The other prisoners avoided me. U-S-A! U-S-A! We're your slimming consultants! Aerobics time. I'm ... more

Chapter 26 -- A visit to Harry Green in hospital. Gone to Canafooda. They don't stand a chance against my calorie-fueled karate moves. A platoon of heavily-armed Thin Berets. Who are you people? The Fat Berets. We're a new top secret unit. Now come a... more

Chapter 25 -- Come out with your hands on your belly. The Sushi Gang. Tastes better when they're sweaty, like salty popcorn! A crumbling supermarket. Escape? It's sushi time... An old friend returns. Get out of here. Go! What are you doing here? See ... more

Chapter 24 -- I went insane. I know that now. I woke to the sounds of laughter. Could I have some real food, please? To Agent Froleek! Heez first good meel een yeerz! If this is slavery, baby, I'm lovin' it. Could I get a doggie bag? Eez zees zee I-S... more

Chapter 23 -- They ripped the fat suit off me and tied me naked to a chair. Torture. No! Not that! Anything but that! Please! Meet my head chef. Show him the video! The world began to spin. The flying Twinkies swirled about my head.

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