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Am I The Problem?

Helen Villiers MA
ADHD
Mental Health
Autism
Emotional Abuse
Narcissism
Trauma
Gaslighting
Parenting
Neurodivergence
Parenting After Trauma
Parental Relationships
Healing
Boundaries
Emotional Manipulation
Teenage Development
CPTSD
Grief
Dyscalculia
Parental Responsibility
Self-Trust

You grew up neurodivergent in a toxic household. Now you can't tell if you're the problem, if you're overreacting, or if the thing you're upset about is even a thing. You apologise for existing, you can't say no without a panic attack, and you genuinely don't know what you want for dinner. Am I The Problem? is a podcast for late-diagnosed ADHD and autistic adults working out what got installed wro... more

PublishesWeeklyEpisodes56Foundeda year ago
Number of ListenersCategories
Health & FitnessEducationSelf-ImprovementMental Health

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Artwork for Am I The Problem?

Latest Episodes

Someone asks for a favour. A colleague wants help. A friend needs something. Before you’ve even decided what you want to say, your body has already started preparing the yes.

Not because you’re weak. Not because you’re naturally a people pleaser. Be... more

You stand in the ready meal aisle for ten minutes. You change your coffee order every time. Someone asks what you fancy doing at the weekend and your mind goes oddly blank.

Not because you’re easy-going. Not because you don’t care. Because somewhere... more

YouTube

Season 2, Episode 3: “You Apologise For Existing”

You apologise before you ask a question. You apologise when someone bumps into you. You apologise for taking too long, talking too much, needing something, wanting something, or simply being in the r... more

YouTube

You replay conversations for hours. You ask other people if your feelings make sense. You know your reaction feels too big, except sometimes it turns out it wasn’t big enough at all.

If you grew up in a toxic environment while also having a neurodiv... more

Key Facts

Accepts Guests
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Number of Listeners
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Recent Guests

Harriet Shearsmith
Author, coach and trainee psychotherapist; known for Unfollowing Mum book and podcast
Unfollowing Mum / Cycle Breakers
Episode: 32. The Hardest Thing About Going No Contact with Harriet Shearsmith
Juliet Grayson
Psychosexual therapist specializing in trauma and author of 'Landscapes of the Heart'
Episode: Boundaries and Trauma with Juliet Grayson

Host

Helen Villiers
Psychotherapist with ADHD; host of discussions focused on neurodivergence, trauma, and healing from emotionally abusive or narcissistic family dynamics.

Reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars from 29 ratings
  • Challenging behaviour

    I always learn something new from Helen and have taken away fantastic practical examples to use when I need help to support my child. Everybody’s story although different never fails to give me a light bulb moment. Thank you, you help keep me grounded!

    Apple Podcasts
    5
    Spirit of mushroom
    United Kingdom7 months ago
  • So impressed 😊

    I came across an episode of Helen’s podcasts on youtube. From what I heard, it sounded like actual therapy! I decides to listen closer here, through the pod format.

    I’ve only listened to one episode so far and am very impressed from how Helen follows the person she talks to! I am intrigued by having access to such difficult as these actually are.

    I want to commend every person in the programme for being so, so brave ❤️ And thank you to you all and Helen for giving an open source where people ca... more

    Apple Podcasts
    5
    Aplusinskal
    Sweden9 months ago
  • Heal as you listen

    Every story of parental narcissistic abuse is different but the core themes are exactly the same in all and that’s what makes listening to these conversations so full of light bulb moments. Helen is world class in her ability to lead a person out of the ‘cult like’ state of captivity that narcissistic abuse puts a person in and setting them firmly on the path to freedom.

    Apple Podcasts
    5
    nestmaker
    United Kingdoma year ago
  • So important

    This series is invaluable in helping so many people who relate to the themes of living with someone narcissistic or being brought up by a narcissistic parent and the impact of this. These podcasts are the best of their type by far..

    Apple Podcasts
    5
    Janie2717
    United Kingdoma year ago
  • Too good to miss

    This is insanely good content. How is it free!!?? Powerful stuff. I’ve learnt so much already. Thank you ❤️

    Apple Podcasts
    5
    FrancesWoodrow
    United Kingdoma year ago

Listeners Say

Key themes from listener reviews, highlighting what works and what could be improved about the show.

Guests are described as brave and the conversations as enabling deep understanding of complex trauma.
The show is viewed as a valuable, accessible resource for those affected by narcissistic parenting and related issues.
Some listeners highlight the podcast as a standout in its field, noting its healing and educational value.
Listeners praise the host's compassionate guidance and practical, therapy-informed advice.

Chart Rankings

How this podcast ranks in the Apple Podcasts, Spotify and YouTube charts.

Talking Points

Recent interactions between the hosts and their guests.

39. Leaving With No Resources
Q: So, the question is, hi Helen, am I a bad person for losing patience with my highly stressed husband?
The host explains that losing patience can be a normal human reaction when boundaries are crossed repeatedly, but it does not make someone bad. The focus is on whether the partner's behavior is acceptable, the impact on the children, and the listener's boundaries. She emphasizes that impact matters more than intention, and that people should take responsibility for their own behavior even when stressed.
31. Why Does Being Seen Still Feel Unsafe?
Q: How has your family reacted to you sharing your experiences or achievements?
Often with ownership and appropriation, turning the focus onto themselves or others, which makes the guest feel invalidated and unseen, reinforcing a cycle of silence.
31. Why Does Being Seen Still Feel Unsafe?
Q: What does being seen feel like for you in this context?
Being seen can be both energizing and terrifying; it exposes vulnerability and invites scrutiny, which in past experiences has led to rejection and a feeling of being unsafe.
40. Is It Autism or Trauma? (Replay)
Q: Is that the answer to everything, or are there parts that stay with the abuse and parts that are due to autism?
There are overlapping parts, but with awareness and support you can distinguish which responses come from trauma and which are autism-related, while still treating both as valid influences on behavior.
40. Is It Autism or Trauma? (Replay)
Q: What difference will it make to you to know the difference between abuse thoughts and autism thoughts? How will it change things for you?
It would help me relax, understand triggers more clearly, and reduce hypervigilance by giving a framework to separate trauma responses from autistic traits, leading to more targeted coping strategies.

Audience Metrics

Listeners, social reach, demographics and more for this podcast.

Listeners per Episode
Gender Skew
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Frequently Asked Questions About Am I The Problem?

What is Am I The Problem? about and what kind of topics does it cover?

Content focuses on exploring personal struggles related to family dynamics, particularly dealing with emotional abuse, narcissistic relationships, and trauma. Episodes often feature guests who share their experiences with challenging family situations, including coping strategies for ADHD and Autism, emotional boundaries, and the impacts of past traumas. The discussions are not only therapeutic but also practical, offering listeners insights and tools for healing and personal growth. Unique to this content is the emphasis on empathetic listening and the exploration of various psychological concepts, creating a space for understanding complex emotional landscapes.

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Which podcasts are similar to Am I The Problem??

These podcasts share a similar audience with Am I The Problem?:

1. Beyond Survival - The Therapy Podcast with Katie McKenna
2. Begin Again with Davina McCall
3. Happy Place
4. We Need To Talk with Paul C. Brunson
5. The Dr Louise Newson Podcast

How many episodes of Am I The Problem? are there?

Am I The Problem? launched a year ago and published 56 episodes to date. You can find more information about this podcast including rankings, audience demographics and engagement in our podcast database.

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What guests have appeared on Am I The Problem??

Recent guests on Am I The Problem? include:

1. Harriet Shearsmith
2. Juliet Grayson

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