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Artwork for Non-Monogamy Help

Non-Monogamy Help

Lola Phoenix
Polyamory
Non-Monogamy
Therapy
Non-Monogamous Relationships
Communication
Jealousy
Relationships
Anxiety
Monogamy
Betterhelp
Boundaries
Mental Health
Long-Distance Relationships
Kitchen Table Polyamory
Emotional Support
Communication In Relationships
Boundaries In Relationships
Relationship Anarchy
Open Relationships
Relationship Boundaries

Non-Monogamy Help is a relationship advice podcast for people in non-monogamous or polyamorous relationships. With the help of a therapist with over a decade of experience, your host Lola Phoenix, answers the questions your questions about rules, hierarchies, unicorns and more.

PublishesTwice monthlyEpisodes192Founded8 years ago
Number of ListenersCategories
RelationshipsSociety & Culture

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Artwork for Non-Monogamy Help

Latest Episodes

Repeated cheating, gaslighting, and coerced sex get dressed up as non-monogamy. On telling the difference, setting a boundary, and when to bring in outside support.

That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription o... more

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Anxiety about a partner's other relationships isn't a malfunction. It's a fear shaped by a monogamy-centric upbringing. On self-compassion, control, and what you can actually manage.

That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full aud... more

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A partner accused of cheating despite following the rules asks how much control is too much. On confronting, consenting, or cutting ties with a controlling agreement.

That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription... more

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A crumb seems like a feast to someone who's starving, but the meals you actually deserve change what you're willing to accept. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help.

That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio tran... more

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Host

Lola Phoenix
Host of the show, therapist-guide, and author focusing on polyamory and non-monogamy topics.

Reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars from 206 ratings
  • Great advise valuable perspectives

    I really appreciate this podcast and the valuable perspectives provided! I’m very glad to have this podcast as a tool for navigating non-monogamy.

    Apple Podcasts
    5
    KKreatrix
    Canada3 years ago
  • So incredibly helpful

    Lola Phoenix is direct, honest, relatable, and empathetic. They really have helped (and continue to help) me understand myself, my partners, and friends. I enjoy this style of responding to one letter at a time, because it doesn’t overly generalize people’s experiences and supports me to make my own connections. This is a rare gem of a podcast that is exactly what it intends to be.

    Apple Podcasts
    5
    rkhazany
    United States3 years ago
  • Compassionate, Sensible Advice

    Lola Phoenix’s podcast is an excellent supplement to their book, “The Anxious Person’s Guide to Non-Monogamy.” They help readers and listeners to feel seen and understood, and to see their challenges as something they can get through. They offer a refreshing mix of skepticism, curiosity, caring, and hope.

    Apple Podcasts
    5
    Justin Kalm
    United States4 years ago
  • Excellent podcast.

    Podcast Addict
    ponetium
    4 years ago
  • Wonderful!

    Super grateful for your podcast! It has really helped me to understand myself and taught me how to better navigate non-monogamy. Thank you so much, Lola!

    Apple Podcasts
    5
    luneonirique
    Canada4 years ago

Listeners Say

Key themes from listener reviews, highlighting what works and what could be improved about the show.

Thoughtful, practical guidance that helps navigate tough relationship questions.
Host comes across as empathetic, direct, and experienced.
Strong comfort with therapy-based approaches and real-world examples.

Chart Rankings

How this podcast ranks in the Apple Podcasts, Spotify and YouTube charts.

Talking Points

Recent interactions between the hosts and their guests.

Episode 188 - Coming Out Later
Q: I'm a 52-year-old cis white male and I only recently realized I was bisexual. When I say recent, I mean like a year ago. I've been immersing myself into queer culture, reading books, and working with my therapist.
The host emphasizes honesty with oneself and with one's long-term partner, suggests clarifying what each person actually needs in the relationship, and encourages exploring whether the desire to engage with other people might stem from unmet emotional needs or a desire for deeper emotional conversations. She discusses relationship frameworks like relationship anarchy, advises against staying in a relationship out of fear or sunk costs, and urges an open, ongoing dialogue to decide whether the couple can evolve together or whether alternative arrangements are necessary.
Episode 187 - Ex Becomes a Metamour
Q: In this episode, what is the listener asking about and what is the host's guidance?
The listener asks how to navigate strong romantic feelings for a coworker who is already in a primary polyamorous relationship, including potential impacts on friendship and the possibility of pursuing a polyamorous arrangement. The host urges them to test the waters, acknowledge real risks, seek polyamory-friendly therapy, set boundaries, and trust themselves to manage outcomes, while recognizing that friendships and metamour dynamics may change.
Episode 186 - Communication Versus Gaslighting
Q: How much and in what way would you ideally communicate with your partner or partners when you're not physically together?
reciprocity matters more than exact frequency; aim for balanced, meaningful exchanges where both sides feel seen, and adjust expectations as relationships evolve, while avoiding turning every message into a chore; when issues arise, present them calmly and seek solutions together, possibly with professional help if needed.
Episode 182 - Permission in Polyamory
Q: What is the utility of asking how you feel when talking about a date, and how should you frame this conversation?
The host explains that asking for how you feel can be a form of seeking care, but if it becomes a mechanism to control a partner, it shifts into a permission-based dynamic. The recommended approach is to use regular relationship check-ins and clear boundaries to discuss needs without imposing veto-like control over a partner's dating life.
Episode 180 - From Cheating to Polyamory
Q: What is your preferred way of scheduling dates slash time with your partner or partners?
The host suggests regular, scheduled time for dating and important conversations to prevent last-minute conflicts, while acknowledging that some scheduling flexibility can work as long as there is a clear plan and mutual agreement.

Audience Metrics

Listeners, social reach, demographics and more for this podcast.

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Frequently Asked Questions About Non-Monogamy Help

What is Non-Monogamy Help about and what kind of topics does it cover?

A practical relationship-advice show focused on polyamory, non-monogamy, and boundary-setting. Across episodes, listeners bring real-life questions about jealousy, communication, disclosure, and autonomy, and the host offers structured guidance, therapeutic frameworks, and actionable steps. Expect insights on managing boundaries at work, navigating triads, consent, and therapy, plus clear suggestions for resources and tools to improve communication and self-trust in complex relationship dynamics. A consistent thread is prioritizing emotional safety, consent, and honest dialogue while exploring diverse relationship models and optimizing daily relationship management.

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Which podcasts are similar to Non-Monogamy Help?

These podcasts share a similar audience with Non-Monogamy Help:

1. Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships
2. Savage Lovecast
3. Sex and Psychology Podcast
4. Ologies with Alie Ward
5. Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

How many episodes of Non-Monogamy Help are there?

Non-Monogamy Help launched 8 years ago and published 192 episodes to date. You can find more information about this podcast including rankings, audience demographics and engagement in our podcast database.

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