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Non-Monogamy Help

Lola Phoenix
Polyamory
Non-Monogamy
Therapy
Non-Monogamous Relationships
Communication
Jealousy
Relationships
Boundaries
Mental Health
Long-Distance Relationships
Anxiety
Betterhelp
Monogamy
Kitchen Table Polyamory
Emotional Support
Boundaries In Relationships
Open Relationships
Communication In Relationships
Trust
Cheating

Non-Monogamy Help is a relationship advice podcast for people in non-monogamous or polyamorous relationships. With the help of a therapist with over a decade of experience, your host Lola Phoenix, answers the questions your questions about rules, hierarchies, unicorns and more.

PublishesTwice monthlyEpisodes184Founded7 years ago
Number of ListenersCategories
RelationshipsSociety & Culture

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Artwork for Non-Monogamy Help

Latest Episodes

Sometimes the best way to address fear of missing out is to invite partners to share new experiences, rather than tell them afterwards.

That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠... more

Consideration means giving the reins over and allowing emotions to decide whether a partner is allowed to go on a date, which isn't fair.

That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠... more

Allowing a partner's anxieties to control behaviour is unfair not only to oneself, but also to the people being dated.

That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠... more

Unresolved betrayal needs to be addressed before moving forward into polyamory, or it will easily become a tit-for-tat situation.

That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠... more

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Host

Lola Phoenix
Host of Non-Monogamy Help, with over a decade of experience guiding listeners through relationship complexities.

Reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars from 200 ratings
  • Great advise valuable perspectives

    I really appreciate this podcast and the valuable perspectives provided! I’m very glad to have this podcast as a tool for navigating non-monogamy.

    Apple Podcasts
    5
    KKreatrix
    Canada3 years ago
  • So incredibly helpful

    Lola Phoenix is direct, honest, relatable, and empathetic. They really have helped (and continue to help) me understand myself, my partners, and friends. I enjoy this style of responding to one letter at a time, because it doesn’t overly generalize people’s experiences and supports me to make my own connections. This is a rare gem of a podcast that is exactly what it intends to be.

    Apple Podcasts
    5
    rkhazany
    United States3 years ago
  • Compassionate, Sensible Advice

    Lola Phoenix’s podcast is an excellent supplement to their book, “The Anxious Person’s Guide to Non-Monogamy.” They help readers and listeners to feel seen and understood, and to see their challenges as something they can get through. They offer a refreshing mix of skepticism, curiosity, caring, and hope.

    Apple Podcasts
    5
    Justin Kalm
    United States3 years ago
  • Excellent podcast.

    Podcast Addict
    ponetium
    3 years ago
  • Wonderful!

    Super grateful for your podcast! It has really helped me to understand myself and taught me how to better navigate non-monogamy. Thank you so much, Lola!

    Apple Podcasts
    5
    luneonirique
    Canada3 years ago

Listeners Say

Key themes from listener reviews, highlighting what works and what could be improved about the show.

Listeners praise the host's direct, empathetic guidance and practical approach.
Guests and topics are seen as honest and accessible for newcomers and seasoned non-monogamists alike.
The show is viewed as a supportive, therapy-informed resource.

Chart Rankings

How this podcast ranks in the Apple Podcasts, Spotify and YouTube charts.

Talking Points

Recent interactions between the hosts and their guests.

Episode 182 - Permission in Polyamory
Q: What is the utility of asking how you feel when talking about a date, and how should you frame this conversation?
The host explains that asking for how you feel can be a form of seeking care, but if it becomes a mechanism to control a partner, it shifts into a permission-based dynamic. The recommended approach is to use regular relationship check-ins and clear boundaries to discuss needs without imposing veto-like control over a partner's dating life.
Episode 180 - From Cheating to Polyamory
Q: What is your preferred way of scheduling dates slash time with your partner or partners?
The host suggests regular, scheduled time for dating and important conversations to prevent last-minute conflicts, while acknowledging that some scheduling flexibility can work as long as there is a clear plan and mutual agreement.
Episode 179 - Disability and Non-Monogamy
Q: What is the most important thing your partner could do to help you feel more secure and comfortable?
The host suggests that the partner take an active role in reducing barriers by handling accessibility admin, coordinating with friends, and advocating for inclusive activities, while also encouraging shared planning and leveraging local disability resources to support the listener's needs.
Episode 178 - Relationship Anarchy for Newbies
Q: Help, I need a dummy's guide to Relationship Anarchy.
She acknowledges not being a true expert but suggests that what matters is being on the same page about what relationship anarchism means to each person, clarifying each partner's ideals, and approaching the framework as a collaborative tool rather than a prescriptive rulebook. The advice centers on breaking down the concept into practical terms, considering time, boundaries, and shared goals, and ensuring both partners have room to articulate their needs without feeling locked into every category immediately.
Episode 178 - Relationship Anarchy for Newbies
Q: I seek some basic fundamentals. I know that you build a relationship uniquely. I have referred to the Relationship Anarchy Smorgasbord, but my current date is resisting claims it's restricting.
The host reframes the issue by suggesting that instead of rushing to decide everything at once, the couple should first establish a mutual understanding of what relationship anarchy means for them and discuss their polyamory ideals, then gradually explore which elements actually fit their needs. She emphasizes aligning on core desires and that compatibility in needs is more important than agreeing on every item from a framework. She also notes that two people can share the label of relationship anarchists yet still differ in needs and wants, so the focus should be on shared understanding and ongoing dialogue.

Audience Metrics

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Frequently Asked Questions About Non-Monogamy Help

What is Non-Monogamy Help about and what kind of topics does it cover?

Non-Monogamy Help centers on practical relationship advice for people exploring ethical non-monogamy, polyamory, and related dynamics. Episodes consistently tackle communication, boundaries, jealousy, and navigating complex situations like parenting, disability, and relationship hierarchies, often incorporating therapeutic perspectives and real-letter guidance. A notable strength is the host's direct, empathetic style and willingness to address difficult topics—ranging from accessibility issues to nuanced definitions of “serious” and what counts as commitment. This mix makes it helpful for listeners seeking approachable, real-world strategies to improve non-monogamous relationships or to learn about these relationship models from a therapis... more

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Which podcasts are similar to Non-Monogamy Help?

These podcasts share a similar audience with Non-Monogamy Help:

1. Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships
2. Queer Collective Podcast
3. THE MONOGAMISH MARRIAGE
4. Savage Lovecast
5. Sex and Psychology Podcast

How many episodes of Non-Monogamy Help are there?

Non-Monogamy Help launched 7 years ago and published 184 episodes to date. You can find more information about this podcast including rankings, audience demographics and engagement in our podcast database.

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