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Artwork for Love in a F*cked Up World

Love in a F*cked Up World

Dean Spade
Relationships
Mutual Aid
Feedback
Abolition
Queer Liberation
Conflict Resolution
Transformative Justice
Crush
Jealousy
Love In a Fcked Up World
Community Organizing
Astrology
Accountability
Politics
Solidarity
Feminism
Community Engagement
Emotion Regulation
Nonviolence
Resistance Movements

Why do so many of us act our worst in relationships? How can we hold on to our liberatory values even when strong feelings are involved? For 25 years, Dean Spade has been working in movements for queer and trans liberation and to end police, prisons, immigration enforcement, and war. In his new podcast, Love in a F*cked Up World, Dean and his guests offer concrete tools for building and sustaining... more

PublishesTwice monthlyEpisodes32Foundeda year ago
Number of ListenersCategories
RelationshipsSociety & Culture

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Artwork for Love in a F*cked Up World

Latest Episodes

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Sex educator and Nasty Work author Ericka Hart joins Dean for a conversation about youth liberation, bodily autonomy, and finding pleasure and joy in our bodies as they change and age. Together, they explore queer parenting, the co... more

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What is accountability? In a society where so much harm is minimized and ignored, many of us long to hold others accountable. At the same time, most of us are pretty defensive when people bring up concerns about our behavior, feari... more

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To kick off Season 2, Jessica Lanyadoo is back to answer more listener questions with Dean. In this episode, they respond to questions about confidentiality, self care, and building and maintaining community when friends couple off... more

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Prisons are designed to isolate, break social ties, and destroy communities. Yet, people fight hard to keep relationships going across prison walls, and through all the crises that prisons manufacture. Episode 26 is Part One of a m... more

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Recent Guests

Morgan Bassichis
Comedian and performer guest
Episode: Accountability
Jessica Lanyadoo
Astrologer, host of Ghost of a Podcast
Ghost of a Podcast
Episode: AMA with Jessica Lanyadoo on Confidentiality, Self Care, and Maintaining Friendships
Vicky Osterweil
Author and scholar; author of In Defense of Looting and Extended Universe
Author/Scholar
Episode: Vicky Osterweil
Eli Clare
Disability justice advocate and writer
Episode: Eli Clare
Benji Hart
Facilitator, educator, writer, and artist involved in multiracial abolitionist organizing
Patreon: benjihart
Episode: Benji Hart
Andrea Ritchie
A black lesbian immigrant survivor who has spent three decades documenting and advocating for the rights of marginalized communities.
Episode: Andrea Ritchie
Chani Nicholas
Feminist astrologer, author of 'You Were Born for This'
Episode: Chani Nicholas
Peter Gelderloos
Writer and activist with significant contributions to anarchist and radical thought
Episode: Peter Gelderloos
Holly Whitaker
Author of Quit Like a Woman and founder of Tempest, a trauma-informed recovery program.
Tempest
Episode: Holly Whitaker

Host

Dean Spade
Host of Love in a F*cked Up World

Reviews

5.0 out of 5 stars from 474 ratings
  • So helpful!

    This show helps me work through emotional and interpersonal problems without being too selef help y

    Apple Podcasts
    5
    22! D bd
    United States3 months ago
  • Woooo!

    Thank you for this!

    Apple Podcasts
    5
    basically rose nylund
    United States6 months ago
  • Super love love this conversation! Yall are amazing! Thank you :))))

    Podcast Addict
    5
    dreamlucid88
    6 months ago
  • Great convos

    Really enjoying the interviews and tidbits of the book. I still need to read it but in the meantime it’s very engaging to listen to the podcast. I’m learning a lot!

    Apple Podcasts
    5
    Acer Maple
    United Statesa year ago
  • Medicine for these Times

    Don’t skip this podcast if you’re interested in the personal as political! Dean is freeing us from so many lies of domination within sex, romance, and community spaces. Truly healing and revolutionary!

    Apple Podcasts
    5
    soularbear
    United Statesa year ago

Listeners Say

Key themes from listener reviews, highlighting what works and what could be improved about the show.

Thoughtful, practical tools for navigating relationships in activism.
High-quality interviews with warm rapport and depth.
A resource for healing and building movements without moralizing relationships.

Chart Rankings

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Talking Points

Recent interactions between the hosts and their guests.

AMA with Jessica Lanyadoo on Confidentiality, Self Care, and Maintaining Friendships
Q: What self-care practices help maintain boundaries and mental health in intense community work?
Gardening, time in nature, and group activities that foster privacy and a sense of belonging were highlighted as nourishing, along with mindful routines like silent meditation and breathing exercises to stay centered.
AMA with Jessica Lanyadoo on Confidentiality, Self Care, and Maintaining Friendships
Q: How should one handle gossip or “tea” about others in their network?
Shift the focus from sensational details to motivations and impacts, verify if sharing serves group cohesion, and consider who is being affected, with a preference for discussing concerns with the person involved first when safe.
AMA with Jessica Lanyadoo on Confidentiality, Self Care, and Maintaining Friendships
Q: What is the balance between sharing in community and protecting individuals' privacy?
The guests suggest cultivating conversations about ethics and boundaries in groups, asking before sharing, and distinguishing between matters of safety and personal drama, while recognizing that some information may need to remain confidential to preserve trust.
Gossip
Q: What are you looking for in a conversation when someone is venting at you?
Dean and Morgan discuss identifying whether venting is a confidential sharing moment or something that should be brought to the group with care, emphasizing the need to decide how to respond in a way that protects relationships and confidentiality.
Gossip
Q: Are you looking for my thoughts or are you looking for me to listen?
Morgan explains that sometimes the best approach is to clarify what the other person is seeking—whether they want feedback, or just a listening ear—so the interaction serves their needs rather than turning into unsolicited advice or judgment.

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Listeners per Episode
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Frequently Asked Questions About Love in a F*cked Up World

What is Love in a F*cked Up World about and what kind of topics does it cover?

A provocative, relationship-focused show that pairs host Dean Spade with a rotating slate of activists, scholars, writers, and organizers to explore how intimate life intertwines with social justice. Episodes surface practical tools for maintaining care, consent, and accountability within friendships and movements, tackling topics like confidentiality, gossip, resilience under carceral systems, mutual aid, and transformative justice. The conversations often blend personal narrative with movement-building insights, featuring guests from abolitionist, feminist, disability justice, and LGBTQ+ circles. The format is likely to appeal to listeners who want relationship skills as a core element of political work and community resilience, and who v... more

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Which podcasts are similar to Love in a F*cked Up World?

These podcasts share a similar audience with Love in a F*cked Up World:

1. Movement Memos
2. Gender Reveal
3. Ghost of a Podcast: Astrology & Advice with Jessica Lanyadoo
4. Death Panel
5. Live Like the World is Dying

How many episodes of Love in a F*cked Up World are there?

Love in a F*cked Up World launched a year ago and published 32 episodes to date. You can find more information about this podcast including rankings, audience demographics and engagement in our podcast database.

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What guests have appeared on Love in a F*cked Up World?

Recent guests on Love in a F*cked Up World include:

1. Morgan Bassichis
2. Jessica Lanyadoo
3. Vicky Osterweil
4. Eli Clare
5. Benji Hart
6. Andrea Ritchie
7. Chani Nicholas
8. Peter Gelderloos

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