IT'S OK THAT YOU'RE NOT OK in English
Raja BabuThere is a twin paradox in being human. First, no one can live your life for you—no one can face what is yours to face or feel what is yours to feel—and no one can make it alone. Secondly, in living our one life, we are here to love and lose. No one knows why. It is just so. If we commit to loving, we will inevitably know loss and grief. If we try to avoid loss and grief, we will never truly love.... more
| Publishes | Daily | Episodes | 18 | Founded | 7 months ago |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Categories | BooksArts | ||||
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RALLYING YOUR SUPPORT TEAM
Helping Them Help You
Our friends, our families, our therapists, our books, our cultural
responses—they’re all most useful, most loving and kind, when they help
those
in grief to carry their pain, and least helpfu... more
FIND YOUR OWN IMAGE OF “RECOVERY”
Talking with people in new grief is tricky. During the first year, it’s so
tempting to say that things get better. I mean, is it really a kindness to say,
“Actually, year two is often far harder than year one”?... more
PART III
WHEN FRIENDS AND FAMILY DON’T
KNOW WHAT TO DO
13
SHOULD YOU EDUCATE OR IGNORE
THEM?
If you’re like most grieving people, the response from people around
you has been clumsy at best, and insulting, dismissive, and rude at worst.... more
APPENDIX
How to Help a Grieving Friend
My essay on how to help a grieving friend is among the top three most
shared posts I’ve ever written. A lot of what I’ve mentioned in part 3 is
summarized in this essay, so I’ve reprinted it here. To giv... more
LOVE IS THE ONLY THING THAT LASTS
How do we end a book on loss if we don’t lean back on the expected
happy ending? If we don’t search for a tacked-on transformation, or a
promise
that everything will work out in the end?
I end this book wit... more
PART IV
THE WAY FORWARD
15
THE TRIBE OF AFTER
Companionship, True Hope, and the Way Forward
Companionship, reflection, and connection are vital parts of surviving
grief. As I mentioned at the beginning of this book, attachment is survival... more
GRIEF AND ANXIETY
Calming Your Mind When Logic Doesn’t Work
Grief changes your body and your mind in strange ways. Cognitive
capacity isn’t the only brain function that gets wonky. Anxiety—whether
it’s
new to you, or you experienced it befo... more
WHAT DOES ART HAVE TO DO WITH
ANYTHING?
I want to tell you that the creative process will be healing for you, in
and of itself. But I’m a terrible liar.
I can’t bring up the creative process without being honest about my own
path. The arts,... more
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