
We’ve all had moments that leave us at a total loss — for words, for direction, for what comes next. For me, that moment came when my baby died at 37 weeks. I know firsthand what it feels like to have the world stop and to wonder if you’ll ever find a way forward again. Sometimes it’s the death of someone you love. Sometimes it’s heartbreak, illness, trauma, or failure. But being “at a total loss”... more
| Publishes | Monthly | Episodes | 140 | Founded | 4 years ago |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Number of Listeners | Categories | Personal JournalsEducationSelf-ImprovementSociety & Culture | |||

I’m opening up about the reality of pregnancy after loss, the cesarean scar ectopic pregnancy that led to emergency surgery, and the quieter work of figuring out how to keep living when grief keeps reopening old wounds.
In this episode, I talk throug... more
Podcast is moving to YouTube! Don't worry, all episodes up until now will still be available on Spotify and Apple. But moving forward, our home will be on YouTube @thekatherinelazar where I'll be sharing more videos, insight, and content around life ... more
There was a time when I thought surviving a stillbirth meant I had already lived through the worst thing imaginable. Then I miscarried.
In this episode, I'm sharing what I learned from experiencing a miscarriage after stillbirth—and why it challenge... more
I hate when people say we are "Overprotective"...No, that's not it. We are SUPER AWARE of what can happen. This means we know the potential outcomes, we take necessary steps to prevent, we know what we can control and what we can't, we have a plan in... more
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There is a certain gravity in the voices of bereaved mothers, a weight I recognize instantly. As a mother who has also lost a daughter to stillbirth, I am drawn to their stories, their grief, the way they carry it. My heart aches for each of them—I can feel it all through them.
But there is something else, something I struggle to understand: the anger, the sense of entitlement, the need to assign blame. Why me? they ask. But I wonder—why not? As if tragedy follows rules, as if loss is something... more
I lost my son full term, my first child. Katherine’s words are so comforting to me right now where my world has stopped spinning. She gives me hope to keep going while NEVER forgetting Brooks.
I lost my baby just over a month ago and finding this podcast has provided a lifeline I didn’t know I needed. Kat is relatable and easy to listen to and I love the variety of guests she has on the show. Speaking as someone who is new to this “loss life” I am so grateful to have this resource.
Anyone would empathize with these women for wanting someone to blame. That said, with the exception of the episodes with physicians, there’s a lot of opinions offered on the medical care delivered that lacks any nuance or understanding of evidence based guidelines. Spreading mistrust of the medical profession without offering evidence based advice seems unhelpful at best.
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Listeners, social reach, demographics and more for this podcast.
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The show centers on real, intimate conversations about navigating life after unthinkable losses, with a focus on grief, parenting after loss, healing, and finding forward momentum. Episodes balance poignant personal stories with practical insights, community resources, and honest guidance for living with grief while managing family life, work, and self-discovery. A notable strength is the host's frank, empathetic storytelling and consistent emphasis on community support, authenticity, and actionable coping strategies. Production often weaves in guests who bring medical, advocacy, or peer-support perspectives, making it valuable for listeners seeking understanding, hope, and concrete steps after loss or trauma.
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At a Total Loss launched 4 years ago and published 140 episodes to date. You can find more information about this podcast including rankings, audience demographics and engagement in our podcast database.
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Recent guests on At a Total Loss include:
1. Jenny Kim
2. Gabriela Rosa
3. Elizabeth Michalski
4. Emi Smazz
5. Unnamed Guest
6. Sharon McGregor
7. Lindsay Henke
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