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Artwork for They Mess You Up

They Mess You Up with Dr. Ciara Kelly and Dr. Richard Hogan

GoLoud
Mental Health
Relationships
Family Dynamics
Narcissism
Shame
Anxiety
Attachment Theory
Parenting
Sex Addiction
Grief
Infidelity
Jealousy
Ireland
Alcohol
Envy
Boundaries
Marriage
Child Development
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
Resilience

A weekly podcast series presented by family doctor and broadcaster, Dr. Ciara Kelly & family psychotherapist and author, Dr. Richard Hogan. They Mess You Up is a straight-talking show that unpacks messy, everyday relationship and mental-health issues with a mix of clinical perspective, personal anecdotes and wry, no-nonsense banter. They cover topics from affairs, jealousy and people-pleasing to a... more

PublishesTwice weeklyEpisodes51Founded7 months ago
Number of ListenersCategories
Mental HealthHealth & Fitness

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Artwork for They Mess You Up

Latest Episodes

Why do we romanticise the person we didn't end up with? Ciara and Richard explore the “one that got away”, why our memories can make the past look better than it was, and whether we’re missing the person or the life we imagined with them.

They Mess ... more

Messy Bits: The bonus episode where Ciara and Richard tackle your dilemmas, questions and messages. Send yours to us via Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod

More adult children are living at home for longer, but how do you live with your kids when they're no longer kids? Ciara and Richard discuss rent, rules, partners staying over, boundaries and how to make it work without driving each other mad.

They ... more

Messy Bits: The weekly bonus episode where Ciara and Richard tackle your dilemmas, questions and messages. Send yours to us via Instagram message @TheyMessYouUpPod

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Hosts

Ciara Kelly
Host of They Mess You Up; family doctor and broadcaster
Richard Hogan
Co-host; family psychotherapist and author

Reviews

4.8 out of 5 stars from 139 ratings
  • Raw and Honest

    This is one of the most refreshing podcasts on mental health. The hosts are honest and balanced, what sets them apart is their willingness to challenge each other in real time. It’s not scripted or one-sided.

    Apple Podcasts
    5
    hells74bells
    Ireland4 months ago
  • Never miss an episode - hooked .

    Informative and mind opening podcast - makes me think deeply and reflect on my own take on life .

    Also really funny .

    Apple Podcasts
    5
    Pastdentist
    United Kingdom5 months ago
  • Love your pod

    Look forward to listening to your podcast every week.

    Important topics discussed in an informative, no nonsense manner with a perfect mix of humour.

    Apple Podcasts
    5
    lisqwe
    Australia5 months ago

Listeners Say

Key themes from listener reviews, highlighting what works and what could be improved about the show.

Refreshing honesty and balance in mental health discussions; hosts challenge each other productively.
Informative with a good mix of humor and practical takeaways; keeps you thinking.
High-quality banter and relevant topics with real-world relevance for relationships and parenting.

Chart Rankings

How this podcast ranks in the Apple Podcasts, Spotify and YouTube charts.

Talking Points

Recent interactions between the hosts and their guests.

Messy Bits... Cold Feet? Or something more?
Q: Hi Ciara and Richard, I'm getting married in a few months and wondering if this is the right move since we rarely argue and laugh less together now; is this a red flag or normal nerves?
The hosts acknowledge nerves as normal and emphasize looking at overall dynamics: whether laughter and joy are still present, whether there's alignment on core values and fun, and whether the relationship feels like a good fit overall; they advise examining the situation honestly without jumping to conclusions about doom, and to talk openly about feelings with the partner.
Messy Bits....Falsely Accused?
Q: Could you walk us through how to handle a partner who claims they are innocent but can't prove it, and what immediate steps should be taken to protect trust while the truth comes out?
The hosts suggest starting with transparency, considering whether handing over evidence (like a phone) could help resolve the doubt, and acknowledging that rebuilding trust requires proof of truth, accountability, and time; if innocent, engage in open dialogue and involve the other person in the process rather than retreating into defensiveness.
S1. Episode 7 - Sex Addiction
Q: Is it easy for a partner to accept a sex addiction?
It varies; some partners may be understanding but many can react with horror or judgment, making it difficult for the affected individual to open up.
S1. Episode 7 - Sex Addiction
Q: What can we do from the perspective of the person who is addicted?
They should recognize their behavior as distressing and seek to distance themselves from it and reconnect with their partner's intimacy without pressure.

Audience Metrics

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Frequently Asked Questions About They Mess You Up

What is They Mess You Up about and what kind of topics does it cover?

A candid, clinical-yet-personal take on everyday relationship and mental-health topics, delivered with humor and practical guidance. Episodes cover drinking culture, relationship dynamics, parenting, burnout, jealousy, trust, and modern dating, often blending host expertise with real-life stories and transparent self-disclosure. Noteworthy is the straightforward banter between a family doctor and a family therapist, plus a willingness to tackle tough topics (infidelity, divorce, coming out later in life) with empathy and actionable takeaways. The show appears to attract listeners who want evidence-informed insights tempered by relatable lived experience, with a strong emphasis on communication, boundaries, and self-awareness. Potential spon... more

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Which podcasts are similar to They Mess You Up?

These podcasts share a similar audience with They Mess You Up:

1. The Laura Dowling Experience
2. Ready To Be Real by Síle Seoige
3. Real Health with Karl Henry
4. Brendan O'Connor
5. The Bookshelf with Ryan Tubridy

How many episodes of They Mess You Up are there?

They Mess You Up launched 7 months ago and published 51 episodes to date. You can find more information about this podcast including rankings, audience demographics and engagement in our podcast database.

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