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Artwork for They Mess You Up

They Mess You Up with Dr. Ciara Kelly and Dr. Richard Hogan

GoLoud
Mental Health
Relationships
Family Dynamics
Anxiety
Parenting
Narcissism
Boundaries
Infidelity
Shame
Attachment Theory
Marriage
Sex Addiction
Ireland
Grief
Jealousy
Alcohol
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
Envy
Loneliness
Friendship

A weekly podcast series presented by family doctor and broadcaster, Dr. Ciara Kelly & family psychotherapist and author, Dr. Richard Hogan. They Mess You Up is a straight-talking show that unpacks messy, everyday relationship and mental-health issues with a mix of clinical perspective, personal anecdotes and wry, no-nonsense banter. They cover topics from affairs, jealousy and people-pleasing to a... more

PublishesTwice weeklyEpisodes73Founded10 months ago
Number of ListenersCategories
Mental HealthHealth & Fitness

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Artwork for They Mess You Up

Latest Episodes

Messy Bits: The bonus episode where Ciara and Richard tackle your dilemmas, questions and messages. Send yours to us via Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod

Does staying in an unhappy relationship really protect your children, or can growing up around conflict, resentment and emotional distance do more damage than separation?

Ciara Kelly and Richard Hogan explore when relationships reach breaking point,... more

Messy Bits: The bonus episode where Ciara and Richard tackle your dilemmas, questions and messages. Send yours to us via Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod

Anxiety is a normal part of life, but what happens when worry starts running the show? Ciara and Richard explore why we get anxious, how our thoughts fuel it, and what we can do to stop it taking over.

They Mess You Up, with Dr Ciara Kelly and Dr Ri... more

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Hosts

Ciara Kelly
Family doctor and broadcaster
Richard Hogan
Family psychotherapist and author

Reviews

4.8 out of 5 stars from 154 ratings
  • Funny and Engaging

    I really enjoy this podcast. I like the humour and it also has an interesting mix topics.

    Apple Podcasts
    5
    Media w
    Australia3 months ago
  • Raw and Honest

    This is one of the most refreshing podcasts on mental health. The hosts are honest and balanced, what sets them apart is their willingness to challenge each other in real time. It’s not scripted or one-sided.

    Apple Podcasts
    5
    hells74bells
    Ireland7 months ago
  • Never miss an episode - hooked .

    Informative and mind opening podcast - makes me think deeply and reflect on my own take on life .

    Also really funny .

    Apple Podcasts
    5
    Pastdentist
    United Kingdom7 months ago
  • Love your pod

    Look forward to listening to your podcast every week.

    Important topics discussed in an informative, no nonsense manner with a perfect mix of humour.

    Apple Podcasts
    5
    lisqwe
    Australia7 months ago

Listeners Say

Key themes from listener reviews, highlighting what works and what could be improved about the show.

The straightforward delivery and mix of serious topics with humour are recurring strengths.
Listeners value the hosts' candid, balanced approach and their willingness to challenge each other.
Listeners praise the hosts' humour and lively, engaging conversations.
Reviews describe the discussions as informative and thought-provoking, with useful perspectives on mental health and everyday life.

Chart Rankings

How this podcast ranks in the Apple Podcasts, Spotify and YouTube charts.

Talking Points

Recent interactions between the hosts and their guests.

Messy Bits… Daddy Is in Love with Mammy’s Friend
Q: When the time comes, how on earth do I explain to them that daddy is now in love with one of mommy's friends?
The hosts recommend protecting the children from adult details, delaying the introduction if possible, and describing the new relationship simply without romanticizing it. They advise reassuring the children that both parents love them and will always be their parents, while getting counselling and avoiding badmouthing their father to them.
Perfectionism
Q: How does someone unpick perfectionism and row back from unattainable standards that are crippling them emotionally and psychologically?
Hogan suggests recognizing that worth is not tied to a task, tracing where the belief of not being enough came from, and examining the desire for control and certainty. Kelly recommends self-acceptance, self-compassion and permission to make mistakes.
Messy Bits…Sandwich generation struggle
Q: What are we supposed to do?
The hosts recommend taking gradual steps, involving the mother's GP and public health nurses, trying home help, and setting realistic boundaries around what the family can provide. They say the mother may need time to adjust to accepting care, and that the listener should protect her own family and wellbeing.
Messy Bits... Cold Feet? Or something more?
Q: Hi Ciara and Richard, I'm getting married in a few months and wondering if this is the right move since we rarely argue and laugh less together now; is this a red flag or normal nerves?
The hosts acknowledge nerves as normal and emphasize looking at overall dynamics: whether laughter and joy are still present, whether there's alignment on core values and fun, and whether the relationship feels like a good fit overall; they advise examining the situation honestly without jumping to conclusions about doom, and to talk openly about feelings with the partner.
Messy Bits....Falsely Accused?
Q: Could you walk us through how to handle a partner who claims they are innocent but can't prove it, and what immediate steps should be taken to protect trust while the truth comes out?
The hosts suggest starting with transparency, considering whether handing over evidence (like a phone) could help resolve the doubt, and acknowledging that rebuilding trust requires proof of truth, accountability, and time; if innocent, engage in open dialogue and involve the other person in the process rather than retreating into defensiveness.

Audience Metrics

Listeners, social reach, demographics and more for this podcast.

Listeners per Episode
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Frequently Asked Questions About They Mess You Up

What is They Mess You Up about and what kind of topics does it cover?

Weekly conversations about relationships, mental health and the difficult choices people face in family, social and working life. Family doctor and broadcaster Ciara Kelly and family psychotherapist and author Richard Hogan combine clinical perspectives with personal anecdotes, listener dilemmas and candid, often humorous disagreement. Topics range from dating, boundaries and long-term relationships to anxiety, addiction, parenting, education and workplace stress. Practical guidance is a recurring thread, with the hosts encouraging communication, realistic expectations and clear boundaries while explaining when professional support may help. The format is conversational and direct rather than formal or scripted, making complex or uncomforta... more

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Which podcasts are similar to They Mess You Up?

These podcasts share a similar audience with They Mess You Up:

1. The Laura Dowling Experience
2. Ready To Be Real by Síle Seoige
3. Are We There Yet ? with Kathryn Thomas
4. Brendan O'Connor
5. Real Health with Karl Henry

How many episodes of They Mess You Up are there?

They Mess You Up launched 10 months ago and published 73 episodes to date. You can find more information about this podcast including rankings, audience demographics and engagement in our podcast database.

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