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Artwork for Square Roots

Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast

John Brandon, Jim Banks, Matthew Van Zandt, Vanessa
Sea Of Stars
Enchanted Arms
Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth
Final Fantasy VII
Thief: the Dark Project
Final Fantasy V
Grandia II
Tactics Ogre
Mass Effect Andromeda
Dishonored
Final Fantasy VII Rebirth
Mass Effect: Andromeda
Legend Of Dragoon
Paper Mario: the Thousand Year Door
South Of Midnight
Beyond Good & Evil
Sephiroth
Bayonetta
Paper Mario: the Thousand-Year Door
Chocobo

Square Roots is like a book club, but for classic RPGs! Each episode John, Matthew, Jim and Vanessa play through a chunkerino of one of your favorite RPGs, from Final Fantasy through Chrono Trigger. Are they experts? No. Are they qualified? Absolutely not. Are they good at RPGs? Probably not. But they're the fun kind of dumb, and that's what counts.

PublishesWeeklyEpisodes573Founded10 years ago
Number of ListenersCategories
Video GamesComedyLeisure

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Artwork for Square Roots

Latest Episodes

Dispatch Part 4: So It's Just the End of Wild Wild West? - Episode 527

We finished Dispatch! Wow. What a game. What else is there to say? Lots, apparently.

This Week: Finish Episode 8 of Dispatch! Next Week: Finish Chapter 2 of FFXIII!

Our Pa... more

YouTube

Dispatch Part 3: Kingdom Hearts 4: A Puzzle of the Flesh Square Roots - Episode 526

Hot Gaming Gossip: 0:05:40 Quest Log: 0:30:15 Level Up: 1:56:41

We are terrified with our encounters with the ultimate villain of Dispatch: SLADE!

Also: • Ten ... more

YouTube

Dispatch Part 2: His Name Is Mister Whisky And No One Knows If He's A Guy In A Suit Square Roots - Episode 525

Hot Gaming Gossip: 0:02:25 Quest Log: 0:24:00 Level Up: 2:01:15

OBSESSION (2026) SPOILERS AT 02:17:00 THROUGH 02:26:00

We become an o... more

YouTube

Dispatch Part 1: First Of All, Yes. Of Course. Square Roots - Episode 524

We play Dispatch! It's fun. We only covered eps 1 and 2 of the game this week. Sorry for lying!

This Week: Episodes 1 and 2 of Dispatch Next Week: Episodes 3, 4, and 5 of ... more

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Key Facts

Contact Information
Podcast Host
Number of Listeners
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Similar Podcasts

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Recent Guests

Lampy Lamentation Brandon
Guest character alias for Umjammer Lammy style joke; actual guest name is Johnny Lamentation Brandon
Guest on episode
Episode: Banishers: Ghosts of New Eden Part 3: Bubsy Says Kid Power!
Jim Banks
Guest, reportedly joining via audio insert
Unspecified
Episode: The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening Part 4 - Egg

Hosts

Jim Banks
Host of Square Roots and related classic RPG discussion segments; central co-host with long-running involvement across episodes.
Matthew Van Zandt
Co-host known for active participation in long-form RPG discussions; provides analysis and humor alongside Jim and Vanessa.
Vanessa
Co-host noted for engaging banter and frequent contributions, often driving the show's pace and topics.
Johnny Brandon
Co-host with a joke-heavy style; part of roundtable dynamics and recurring in several episodes.

Reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars from 398 ratings
  • measured criticism

    I wish these COWARDS would play the trails games but they won’t they’ll play bayonetta which ISNT EVEN AN RPG guess I have no choice but to hate-listen to every season of the show

    Apple Podcasts
    3
    Pobody’sNerfect
    United Statesa year ago
  • Yawn

    Good choice of games but cast is void of any chemistry together and individually the takes are just not that interesting. Also weirdly hateful? Just bad energy on top of not bringing any entertainment or educational value to the table

    Apple Podcasts
    2
    Jacob333333333
    United Statesa year ago
  • 5 out of 5

    Hey all, just found the show about 3 weeks ago. Joined the Facebook group and have been listening at work and catching up on shows. Love the podcast!! You guys are hilarious!

    Apple Podcasts
    5
    Multi_Pass
    United Statesa year ago
  • It's incredible how this bunch of 20-somethings can be so knowledgeable about games which were released way before their time. These hosts are wise and witty beyond their years.

    Podchaser
    5
    krystelthamrin
    2 years ago
  • Dead air

    Saw a podcast series on tactics ogre reborn and thought that’s great can’t wait, I’d prefer not to be mean but these folk needs to listen back to their podcasts. So much dead air, boring chat, and it’s like they have no outline at all

    Great idea, really poor execution, good luck in the future

    Apple Podcasts
    1
    ScottyyyG
    Canada2 years ago

Listeners Say

Key themes from listener reviews, highlighting what works and what could be improved about the show.

Listeners praise chemistry and humor between hosts, calling it entertaining and engaging.
Many appreciate the deep dives into classic RPGs and the nostalgic vibe.
Fans often mention Patreon and community involvement as a plus.
Some criticism notes pacing or off-topic tangents but still highlight camaraderie.

Chart Rankings

How this podcast ranks in the Apple Podcasts, Spotify and YouTube charts.

Talking Points

Recent interactions between the hosts and their guests.

South of Midnight Part 2: Edgytainment 6-7
Q: Do you think it's a good corporate strategy for a big conglomerate who has a ton of money to squat on those patents?
The threat was enough to get Pal-World to make changes to their game, and that's all they really care about.
Grandia II Part 1: Max Load
Q: So what are you squarely against?
Well, I'm squarely against Ryudo's misogyny.
Grandia II Part 1: Max Load
Q: Jim, did you ever at least do the half pop on the collar?
I never did a half pop.
Tactics Ogre: Reborn Part 5 - Not Abuna Prancett!
Q: What did you all do before the quest log?
We talked about our leveling up experiences, including various shows and games we've been engaged with.

Audience Metrics

Listeners, social reach, demographics and more for this podcast.

Listeners per Episode
Gender Skew
Location
Interests
Professions
Age Range
Household Income
Social Media Reach

Frequently Asked Questions About Square Roots

What is Square Roots about and what kind of topics does it cover?

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How many listeners does Square Roots get?

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How many subscribers and views does Square Roots have?

To see how many followers or subscribers Square Roots has on Spotify and other platforms such as Castbox and Podcast Addict, simply upgrade your account. You'll also find viewership figures for their YouTube channel if they have one.

Which podcasts are similar to Square Roots?

These podcasts share a similar audience with Square Roots:

1. Retronauts
2. Watch Out for Fireballs!
3. Axe of the Blood God: An RPG Podcast
4. Remember The Game? Retro Gaming Podcast
5. State of the Arc Podcast

How many episodes of Square Roots are there?

Square Roots launched 10 years ago and published 573 episodes to date. You can find more information about this podcast including rankings, audience demographics and engagement in our podcast database.

How do I contact Square Roots?

Our systems regularly scour the web to find email addresses and social media links for this podcast. We scanned the web and collated all of the contact information that we could find in our podcast database. But in the unlikely event that you can't find what you're looking for, our concierge service lets you request our research team to source better contacts for you.

Where can I see ratings and reviews for Square Roots?

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What guests have appeared on Square Roots?

Recent guests on Square Roots include:

1. Lampy Lamentation Brandon
2. Jim Banks

To view more recent guests and their details, simply upgrade your Rephonic account. You'll also get access to a typical guest profile to help you decide if the show is worth pitching.

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