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Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

Esther Perel Global Media
Communication
Family Dynamics
Intimacy
Relationship Dynamics
Relationships
Friendship
Marriage
Mental Health
Parenting
Conflict Resolution
Infidelity
Grief
Romantic Relationships
Divorce
Boundaries
Trauma
Personal Growth
Therapy
Communication In Relationships
Trust

Step into iconic couples therapist Esther Perel and listen as real couples anonymously bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their story. From infidelity, to sexlessness, to loss, it's a space for people to be heard and understood. It's also a place for us to listen and feel empowered in our own relationships. So.. where should we begin? Season three coming spring 2019.

PublishesWeeklyEpisodes214Founded9 years ago
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Artwork for Where Should We Begin?

Latest Episodes

When his ex calls in the middle of a crisis, he finds himself pulled back into a familiar role: the rescuer. He's always been the one women confide in, the one who steps up, the one who proves he's a good man by making sure no one falls apart on his ... more

This week, Esther invites you into a conversation about desire, disruption, and what it means to stay alive to one another in a rapidly changing world.

Recorded live at Sessions Live, Esther is joined by journalist and Head of Content at Esther Pere... more

This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? They grew up with traumatic backgrounds, met in college, immigrated to the US together. They've built stability and security, and now one of them longs for more freedom.

Producer’s Note: When our a... more

YouTube

Twin brothers come to Esther with a shared question: how do they break free from the conflict that has shaped their relationship for years? One feels smothered, the other abandoned, and together they are caught in a cycle of pursuit and withdrawal th... more

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Recent Guests

Kashmir Hill
New York Times reporter focused on AI and technology
The New York Times
Episode: Love in the Time of AI with Kashmir Hill
Spike Jonze
Director of Her, invited guest for this episode
Director/Creator, Her
Episode: Love, Loneliness, and AI: Where Should We Begin? Live with Esther Perel and Spike Jonze
Julia Samuel
British psychologist specializing in grief, author of 'Grief Works'
Episode: Grief Begins With Love With Julia Samuel
Paul Browde
Psychiatrist and speaker
Practices in New York City
Episode: Two Conversations Esther Wants You To Hear From Sessions Live
Nedra Tawwab
Psychotherapist and author
Author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace
Episode: Two Conversations Esther Wants You To Hear From Sessions Live
Unnamed Woman
A 37-year-old artist and activist in a long-distance relationship
N/A
Episode: I Can Break up with Him But I'm Still Stuck With Myself
Unnamed Listener
A woman who describes her experience with a psychologically abusive former employer and seeks advice from Esther.
Episode: You Are So Not Invited to My Wedding
Miranda July
Author of the novel All Fours
Episode: Say More - Miranda July and Esther Perel on The Rebirth of Desire
Unnamed Young Couple
A young couple in their mid-twenties in a long-distance relationship between Mexico and Texas.
Episode: The Arc of Love - Young Love

Host

Esther Perel
Host of Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel; prominent psychotherapist and author.

Reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars from 31.5k ratings
  • No more AI content

    Esther, please stop doing sessions about AI “relationships” as though they are common and worth discussion. It’s akin to those shows where someone says they are in love with their blender or something equally ridiculous. Let’s treat this like the fringe nonsense it is, rather than something the broad majority relates to in any way. I used to really enjoy this podcast for its highly intellectual and thoughtful discussion of relationship dynamics. However, now, most episodes are about AI, poly rel... more

    Apple Podcasts
    2
    pnw24climber
    United Statesa month ago
  • I love this show

    Love this show. Commenting on the latest episode regarding the poly couple’s feedback to Esther. I did feel like Esther was hinting that he needed to work on himself. And that the woman needed to unpack why she was so attached to someone who was staunchly against her stated beliefs. I agree that Esther did not seem to espouse much faith in the future of their relationship though she managed to refrain from stating as much. I don’t think that’s a critique of Esther. I think anyone listening to th... more

    Apple Podcasts
    5
    Ersaylykice
    United Statesa month ago
  • Post Feedback Session from - “I Gave Him An Ultimatum. And Now What “

    I was stunned and very surprised when I heard the woman’s point of view in addition to her experience of her session with Esther.

    Often I replay Ester’s podcast several times Certain ones are extra rich that I like to take it in and listen again with a fresh ear.

    This was a Podcast I replayed and listened to it throughly prior to the after session feedback.

    I am stunned because I did not hear anything remotely close to what the woman heard or felt. It’s so interesting to me how people can li... more

    Apple Podcasts
    5
    Flower Child Gypsy Woman ☮️
    United Statesa month ago
  • Office hours trial for 5/11: best episode ever

    I would’ve never guessed that she was thinking or feeling that way during your post-feedback session or even that their communication has been more open and transparent. Couples therapy versus time apart to make things right before for both parties before beginning couples, seems like one of those cyclical traps. Not all consultation sessions are bifurcation points and this definitely sounds like a closed system at this point, which again is shocking to me given her readiness for change. Maybe t... more

    Apple Podcasts
    5
    KMMHcarmela
    United Statesa month ago
  • Insightful

    May 10 episode — best ever Esther. GET IT. 🧠💕

    Apple Podcasts
    5
    jle_1
    United Statesa month ago

Listeners Say

Key themes from listener reviews, highlighting what works and what could be improved about the show.

Listeners praise the show's empathy, depth, and ability to translate chaos into understandable insights.
Some critics feel the format has become more Esther-centric and less client-centered over time.
Many note high production quality and thought-provoking discussions, especially on modern relationship topics.
Fans appreciate the occasional deep-dives into AI and technology's impact on relationships.

Chart Rankings

How this podcast ranks in the Apple Podcasts, Spotify and YouTube charts.

Talking Points

Recent interactions between the hosts and their guests.

Love in the Time of AI with Kashmir Hill
Q: Why do you think people are drawn to AI partners over human partners in some cases?
Kashmir explains that AI offers constant availability, no rejection, and an idealized version of care, which can be deeply reinforcing for someone feeling fragile or neglected in real relationships.
Love in the Time of AI with Kashmir Hill
Q: What has struck you about AI and love in the sessions you've seen?
Kashmir describes how these systems provide a convincing, self-reinforcing mirror of the user, which can create deep attachment and even delusional belief, while Esther asks about what this means for human relationships and responsibility.
Should I Have Another Baby?
Q: What would you need to feel ready to consider another child?
A period of psychological healing, clearer boundaries, and a space for the couple to reflect without a ticking clock, allowing room for self-care and diversified focus beyond the children.
Should I Have Another Baby?
Q: Are you making this decision alone, or is there a partner in your life?
The caller and her husband make decisions together, and they need to discuss boundaries and what they can or cannot live with as they consider expanding their family.
Am I Letting My Jealousy Ruin This?
Q: Meaning how? Tell me how you put the puzzle together.
The caller explains a pattern where she sees two parallel lives: one with a non-traditional arrangement that feels stimulating and intimate, and another with traditional family structure that triggers old insecurities; she seeks a coherent design that honors both connection and safety.

Audience Metrics

Listeners, social reach, demographics and more for this podcast.

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Frequently Asked Questions About Where Should We Begin?

What is Where Should We Begin? about and what kind of topics does it cover?

This program centers on intimate conversations about love, relationships, family dynamics, sexuality, and personal growth, guided by a renowned psychotherapist. Episodes span polyamory, long-term partnerships, infidelity, parenting, divorce, and the impact of culture and trauma on intimate life. The approach blends therapeutic techniques with real-life storytelling, offering practical prompts, boundaries work, and nuanced perspectives on what it means to connect deeply while negotiating autonomy, safety, and belonging. A standout element is its willingness to address complex, sometimes provocative topics—often bridging psychology, ethics, and everyday relationship realities—through thoughtful, nonjudgmental dialogue that aims to illuminate ... more

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1. We Can Do Hard Things
2. Dear Therapists with Lori Gottlieb and Guy Winch
3. Death, Sex & Money
4. 10% Happier with Dan Harris
5. The Curiosity Shop with Brené Brown and Adam Grant

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Where Should We Begin? launched 9 years ago and published 214 episodes to date. You can find more information about this podcast including rankings, audience demographics and engagement in our podcast database.

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What guests have appeared on Where Should We Begin??

Recent guests on Where Should We Begin? include:

1. Kashmir Hill
2. Spike Jonze
3. Julia Samuel
4. Paul Browde
5. Nedra Tawwab
6. Unnamed Woman
7. Unnamed Listener
8. Miranda July

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