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Artwork for Should We Get Married?

Should We Get Married? with Maxson and Emily

Maxson + Emily
Marriage
Immigration
Relationships
Taxes
Polyamory
Soulmates
New York City
German Citizenship
European Union
Family Structure
Green Card
The Bit List

We’re Maxson and Emily. We’ve been together for 4.5 years and we want to have a family together, but…getting legally married? That’s not so obvious to us. In each episode we talk to someone who has special knowledge about marriage: a divorcee, an ER nurse, an accountant, a prenup lawyer, a polyamorous married couple, a 12-year-old with unmarried parents, and many others. In our final episode, we’l... more

PublishesTwice weeklyEpisodes8Foundeda month ago
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Society & CultureRelationships

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Artwork for Should We Get Married?

Latest Episodes

We talk to John J. Lennon, a self-taught writer who has been incarcerated at Sing Sing Prison for 24 years. John has been married twice to women he fell in love with through handwritten letters. He tells us what conjugal visits are like, who gets acc... more

We talk to Karen Gordon, our couples therapist, about the health of our actual relationship. We've been seeing her for over three years, and in some ways, she knows us better than our friends and family. We talk with her about our conflict cycle, spe... more

We talk to Miles and Elektra, a legally married polyamorous couple, about what marriage means when it's not grounded in sexual exclusivity. They make the case that non-monogamy actually strengthens their commitment: loving others keeps their lives fr... more

We talk to Julia Funke, an immigration lawyer, about if getting married will help Emily get Maxson's EU citizenship. We also talk about the "love test," which is how the government figures out if you have a real relationship and sometimes involves se... more

Key Facts

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Recent Guests

Julia Funke
Immigration attorney
Immigration law practice
Episode: Julia: can you prove you're in love?
Isabel Gillies
Actress, writer, and friend
Actor/Writer
Episode: Isabel: does marriage stop you from breaking up?
Deb Hemmerly
Trauma nurse, guest on the episode
San Francisco General Hospital
Episode: Deb: what happens when you're dying?

Hosts

Emily Carter
Co-host with Maxson exploring marriage from a curious, non-judgmental perspective.
Maxson Jarecki
Co-host driving the investigation into marriage as a social and legal institution.

Reviews

5.0 out of 5 stars from 25 ratings
  • Charming concept

    An enlightening and thoughtful way to figure out if marriage is the right move! Whether or not you’re considering marriage yourself, if you’re a pragmatist and love Pros and Cons lists, this show is for you.

    Apple Podcasts
    5
    a feministtt
    United Statesa month ago
  • Never knew I needed this advice so much

    Honestly this has been one of the most impactful podcasts I have ever listened to. I have devoured the episodes and listened to too many twice over. It's really had a big impact on how I think about dating and marriage at a critical time in my life.

    Apple Podcasts
    5
    jundisimo
    United Statesa month ago
  • Excellent and real

    I have loved these first two episodes. This couple seems truly engaged in an authentic investigation and I love listening to a podcast that has real stakes to it!!

    Apple Podcasts
    5
    JohnL60
    United Statesa month ago
  • Loved this!!

    As someone who is engaged and planning a wedding, this podcast brought up interesting points for us to consider. Although we still want to get married and are excited about it, I appreciate Emily and Maxson debunking the marriage system and challenging young couples to consider all their options rather than defaulting to patriarchal conditioning.

    Apple Podcasts
    5
    Crockpot94
    United Statesa month ago
  • Love it

    Love the nature of the conversation. Such fertile ground for discussion

    Apple Podcasts
    5
    hellohello3
    United Statesa month ago

Listeners Say

Key themes from listener reviews, highlighting what works and what could be improved about the show.

Great mix of experts and personal stories; not preachy.
Genuine curiosity and vulnerability from hosts.
Thoughtful, honest dialogue about modern relationships.
Useful for couples questioning marriage and for listeners curious about different paths.

Chart Rankings

How this podcast ranks in the Apple Podcasts, Spotify and YouTube charts.

Talking Points

Recent interactions between the hosts and their guests.

Miles + Elektra: can you love more than one person?
Q: Given you're in a non-monogamous space, why did you want to get married and what does marriage mean to you if not monogamy?
Marriage for us is a ceremonial affirmation of our relationship and a platform to formalize shared values like authenticity, community, adventure, and balance, rather than a default for sexual exclusivity.
Isabel: does marriage stop you from breaking up?
Q: Knowing what you know about us after this conversation, do you think we should get married?
Isabel says yes, noting that their thoughtful communication and curiosity are strong reasons to consider marriage, while acknowledging there's no guaranteed outcome.
Isabel: does marriage stop you from breaking up?
Q: I wonder, can I ask a question right away?
The hosts discuss why marriage is being considered as a step in their relationship rather than assuming it's the default, highlighting personal relevance over social pressure.
Esme & PF: do kids need married parents?
Q: What are practical things to consider if choosing not to marry?
They discuss school pickups, hospital visits, citizenship, and paternity forms as manageable bureaucratic aspects, noting that with careful planning, non-married families can navigate these issues successfully.
Esme & PF: do kids need married parents?
Q: Do you think we should get married?
Esme and PF frame marriage as a personal choice driven by commitment rather than legal necessity, with Esme expressing a desire for weddings as celebrations, while PF emphasizes that commitment has existed without a wedding.

Audience Metrics

Listeners, social reach, demographics and more for this podcast.

Listeners per Episode
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Frequently Asked Questions About Should We Get Married?

What is Should We Get Married? about and what kind of topics does it cover?

The show follows a couple exploring whether to marry by talking with a rotating slate of guests who bring legal, medical, emotional, and practical perspectives on modern love and partnership. Episodes cover topics like marriage as a legal framework, non-traditional relationships, parenting without marriage, immigration implications tied to marital status, and how institutions (hospitals, schools, government) intersect with commitment. The conversations emphasize curiosity, vulnerability, and real-world trade-offs, often highlighting that marriage is not the only path to stable family life, while also acknowledging the benefits and complications of legal bonds. A standout throughline is the hosts' transparent, evolving stance as they intervi... more

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1. The Ezra Klein Show
2. Radiolab
3. Hard Fork
4. This American Life
5. Up First from NPR

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Should We Get Married? launched a month ago and published 8 episodes to date. You can find more information about this podcast including rankings, audience demographics and engagement in our podcast database.

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What guests have appeared on Should We Get Married??

Recent guests on Should We Get Married? include:

1. Julia Funke
2. Isabel Gillies
3. Deb Hemmerly

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