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Artwork for After the Affair

After the Affair

Luke Shillings
Infidelity
Trust
Hysterical Bonding
Communication
Relationships
Relationship Dynamics
Emotional Healing
Coping Mechanisms
Personal Growth
Emotional Fulfillment
Rebuilding Trust
Self-Worth
Emotional Pain
Betrayal
Communication In Relationships
Emotional Trauma
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
Beliefs
Confidence
Moral Duty

The ‘After the affair’ podcast with Luke Shillings is here to help you process, decide, and move forward on purpose following infidelity. Let’s explore what’s required to rebuild trust not only in yourself, but also with others. Whether you stay or leave, I can help! and no matter what your story, there will be something here for you.

PublishesWeeklyEpisodes185Founded3 years ago
Number of ListenersCategories
Society & CultureRelationships

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Artwork for After the Affair

Latest Episodes

“It meant nothing.”

It’s a phrase often said after betrayal, usually with the intention of reassuring a partner. But for many people, it doesn’t bring comfort, it creates confusion.

Because if it truly meant nothing… why does it hurt so much?

In t... more

When someone tries to explain a betrayal, one phrase often comes up: “It just happened.”

But for the betrayed partner, this explanation rarely brings clarity or peace. Instead, it often creates more confusion. How can something so painful and life-a... more

Alcohol is one of the most common explanations given after betrayal. But does alcohol actually cause infidelity, or does it simply remove the inhibition that normally prevents certain behaviours?

In this episode, Luke explores the role alcohol can p... more

After betrayal, many people feel pressured to decide quickly, whether to stay, leave, forgive or move on. But what if feeling stuck isn’t failure? What if it’s part of growth?

In this episode, Luke explores why discomfort is not a problem to elimina... more

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Recent Guests

Matt Smith
Porn Addiction Coach
Episode: 114. Is Porn Even Cheating? with Porn Addiction Coach, Matt Smith
Caz Grant
RAF veteran who shares her experiences with infidelity in military marriages.
Episode: 84. Breaking the Ranks: Navigating Infidelity in Military Marriages with Caz Grant

Host

Luke Shillings
Host of After the Affair; infidelity recovery coach with a focus on nervous-system regulation, boundaries, and personal growth.

Reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars from 106 ratings
  • Shining a Light on an Important Topic

    Highly recommend! Glad to see someone talking about this topic that soooo many of us have experienced.

    Apple Podcasts
    5
    Dan13386
    United States4 months ago
  • Incredibly Helpful

    Luke has a unique ability to dissect incredibly difficult topics with compassion and a willingness to explore multiple perspectives. Listening to this podcast has helped me identify and work through aspects of my own experiences with infidelity and divorce. The choice of subject matter as well as the approach Luke applies in each episode is equal parts validating and curiosity-inducing. Whether you’re in the initial stages of discovery, or years down the road to recovery, I highly recommend Luke... more

    Apple Podcasts
    5
    MsMW2022
    United States2 years ago
  • I felt seen

    You spoke with such clarity without the shame. It was truly insightful and beautiful to be seen and be exposed to my blind spots.

    Apple Podcasts
    5
    Northyo
    United States2 years ago
  • A service the world needs!

    Luke is doing the world a service by speaking about a topic that feels taboo to many people. I prefer the interview episodes that have more energy, but the content is great in every episode.

    Apple Podcasts
    5
    dnbremer
    United States2 years ago
  • Balm for the soul

    Luke knows from his own experiences. His insights can be implemented immediately, producing tangible results within the listener. His voice is incredibly soothing and reassuring.

    Apple Podcasts
    5
    grateful-Ma
    United States2 years ago

Listeners Say

Key themes from listener reviews, highlighting what works and what could be improved about the show.

Listeners praise compassionate, practical guidance that validates their experience.
Feedback highlights the soothing, reassuring delivery and actionable coaching prompts.
The host offers clear frameworks helping with emotional regulation and boundary setting.

Chart Rankings

How this podcast ranks in the Apple Podcasts, Spotify and YouTube charts.

Talking Points

Recent interactions between the hosts and their guests.

151. The Questions You’re Afraid to Ask: But Desperately Need Answered (Q&A Part 2)
Q: How do I create a new version of life when I'm still clinging to the old one?
Start by planting one new seed that aligns with who you want to become.
151. The Questions You’re Afraid to Ask: But Desperately Need Answered (Q&A Part 2)
Q: Why do I keep replaying arguments in my head?
It's your nervous system trying to finish the conversation you didn't get to have.
151. The Questions You’re Afraid to Ask: But Desperately Need Answered (Q&A Part 2)
Q: Is it normal to feel like I'm becoming somebody that I don't even like?
Yes, it's common after betrayal. You're adapting, not broken.
151. The Questions You’re Afraid to Ask: But Desperately Need Answered (Q&A Part 2)
Q: How do I stay emotionally present for my children when I'm barely holding it together?
Your children need to see resilience, and you don't have to be perfect; just be real.
151. The Questions You’re Afraid to Ask: But Desperately Need Answered (Q&A Part 2)
Q: Why does forgiveness feel like a portrayal of myself?
Forgiveness is not betrayal. Silencing yourself is. It's a choice to stop letting their actions bleed into your peace.

Audience Metrics

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Frequently Asked Questions About After the Affair

What is After the Affair about and what kind of topics does it cover?

This show centers on healing and rebuilding after infidelity, blending psychology, somatic awareness, and practical coaching to help listeners process betrayal, regulate their nervous systems, and make deliberate life choices—whether that means staying in or leaving a relationship. Episodes emphasize pacing, boundaries, self-trust, and personal growth, with actionable prompts and real-life coaching insights designed to reduce overwhelm and foster clarity. A notable strength is the coach-host's direct, compassionate approach, using stories and frameworks to normalize difficult emotions while offering tangible steps toward recovery.

Overall, it stands out for its trauma-informed lens on betrayal, emphasis on practical strategies over quick f... more

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How many listeners does After the Affair get?

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What are the audience demographics for After the Affair?

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How many subscribers and views does After the Affair have?

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Which podcasts are similar to After the Affair?

These podcasts share a similar audience with After the Affair:

1. The Affair Recovery Podcast
2. Helping Couples Heal Podcast
3. Brave Love Great Sex – Couples Therapy Podcast
4. On Purpose with Jay Shetty
5. The Sabrina Zohar Show

How many episodes of After the Affair are there?

After the Affair launched 3 years ago and published 185 episodes to date. You can find more information about this podcast including rankings, audience demographics and engagement in our podcast database.

How do I contact After the Affair?

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Where can I see ratings and reviews for After the Affair?

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What guests have appeared on After the Affair?

Recent guests on After the Affair include:

1. Matt Smith
2. Caz Grant

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